it’s been 5 months since I met you at the tennis court. for the past few weeks, I finally thought I was already starting to move on. I thought I was finally getting better. seeing your face online or hearing your name didn’t stir up any emotions inside me anymore. not until a few moments ago…… scrolling down, I came across a picture of you. it wasn’t a charming picture though, you had your silly expression on as usual. caught off guard, I felt a throbbing pain in my heart and my eyes started to flood with tears. I was at war with myself, I didn’t want to cry but the tears have already reached my cheeks. I’m still in shock. I still miss you. I still…. love you. remembering the limit I have set myself, I have 7 months left. perfect timing, it’s our exam week. now how am I gonna be able to prepare when you’re all I’m thinking about, yet again.
idk. I just want to die. then maybe people would care. should I kill myself? or just wish for death to take me in my sleep? sick of everything. don’t know who to trust anymore. don’t even know if I can still trust myself. I’m so lost.